Why Hope Feels So Vulnerable | Luke 18:27 // Nicole Zasowski

Why can hope feel so scary?

"Jesus Replied, 'What is impossible with man is possible with God.'” — Luke 18:27

Today's Episode: Natalie Abbott talks with counselor and author Nicole Zasowski about Luke 18:27 and the vulnerability of believing God for impossible things.

Nicole shares why many of us keep our expectations low, how gratitude helps us remember God’s faithfulness, and what it looks like to trust God when the outcome we want still feels far away.

Nicole Zasowski is a licensed marriage and family therapist, sought-after speaker, and author. She lives in Connecticut with her husband and three young children. Find out more at NicoleZasowski.com.

This Month's Memory Verse:
"Jesus replied, 'What is impossible with man is possible with God.''
📖 Luke 18:27

Memorize Scripture with Us:
Discover the easy button for Scripture memory through Dwell Differently's resources.

Resources from Today's Episode:
Use code TREASURE to get 30% off your copy of "Storing Up Treasures" at thegoodbook.com today.

Transcript

0:00:00 - (Nicole Zasowski): Foreign.

0:00:05 - (Natalie Abbott): Guys. Welcome back. It's the Dwell Differently podcast. I'm Natalie Abbott, and today I've got my friend Nicole Zasowski with me, and we are talking about believing God for impossible things. The verse that we've been meditating on and memorizing this month is Luke 18:27 says this. Jesus replied, what is impossible with man is possible with God. Just this beautiful promise. And I just want to say if there's anybody listening to this that feels like, I don't know if I can.

0:00:39 - (Natalie Abbott): Like, I want to believe that, but that sounds hard. Just know that this is a. A good space for that conversation. My friend Nicole actually is a counselor. She wrote a book called what if It's Wonderful. She wrote a book called Daring Joy. Like, Like I can to joy. Not like, I'm daring Joy, like I'm coming at joy. And I'm like, I'm.

0:01:00 - (Nicole Zasowski): I dare you to.

0:01:02 - (Natalie Abbott): But just this idea of, like, maybe, maybe it's possible for God to do impossible things. And Nicole, I think the first question that I have for you is, like, what is it about us, even as Christians, where we struggle sometimes to. To even, like, put oursel in that space where we would believe that God would do something unlikely or even impossible?

0:01:25 - (Nicole Zasowski): Yeah, I think in our human nature. And obviously those were my book titles and my Bible, because this is my personal struggle for me. So I am, I am speaking from experience, even as someone who has had a relationship with the Lord since she was little. But I think in our human limitations, what we have learned is that joy is actually one of the most vulnerable feelings we feel. And I'm including the experience of hope in that. And, you know, believing for good things, believing in being able to put our weight on what is possible with God, that all of that is actually quite a vulnerable experience, if not the most vulnerable people feeling, you feel. Because in our broken world, we've all confronted suffering.

0:02:21 - (Nicole Zasowski): And, you know, whatever brand of suffering you've experienced, you know that if you've experienced pain of any kind, it can be safer not to hold hope or not to hold joy than to hold something that might break in your hands. So a lot of us stiff arm that and think, well, I'll just keep my expectations low. If I'm surprised, great. If not, I won't have prepared for it. And so a lot of us are actually very hesitant to step into what is possible with God, both because of our limited human understanding. God is not operating within our same limitations, but also just the emotional experience of being hopeful about the future or Celebrating goodness without fear that the other shoe is going to drop is. Is quite vulnerable.

0:03:21 - (Nicole Zasowski): Yeah.

0:03:23 - (Natalie Abbott): When you think about, like, that reticence that we have to want to believe in something good, like, even, like, when things are all great, you know, I have a tendency sometimes to be like, oh, but something bad is like, everything's going good. Where's the bad's gonna come you. You know, how do we move from a place of suspicion and maybe even this protectionism of, like, I don't want to feel vulnerable to a place where it's like, I actually want to believe that God has good things.

0:03:58 - (Natalie Abbott): And, you know, like, I mean, it is kind of funny because I feel like if I look over the past of my life, like, if I look at what God has done in the past in my life, the. The major. The vast majority of my life has been without a lot of hard things. And what is it in me that even will just, like, pick that one thing, you know, that I'm like, that was so bad. What if it happens again? You know what I mean?

0:04:26 - (Natalie Abbott): Right. Like, what is it that we are like that? Why are we the. Why are we wired the way. And maybe there's not a good answer for that.

0:04:34 - (Nicole Zasowski): Well, you know, it's one of my questions when I get to heaven, because what the. What the neuroscience research would say is that left in neutral, our brains do lean negative. And, you know, maybe you've heard it said that negativity is like Velcro in our brains and positivity is like Teflon or it takes 10 compliments to make up for one criticism or 10 hugs to, you know, to make up for one, you know, kind of hurt in another area.

0:05:06 - (Nicole Zasowski): So our brains are naturally bent toward focusing on what has not gone well. You know, you asked earlier, how do we move through it? What. What. And the research, you know, you know, my shtick on this is that research is always catching up. Science is always catching up with scripture. So I think we see evidence of this in scripture. But the neuroscience research also confirms that gratitude Thanksgiving is the only way to move through that experience that vulnerability of joy, where either.

0:05:47 - (Nicole Zasowski): Wow, it's pretty good. When's it all going to fall apart? Or when's the shoe going to drop? You know, the. The part of our brains that watches a movie with a happy scene and wonderful music and thinks, oh, no, what's coming? This is all going to get blown apart. How's it going to happen? And we do that, of course, in our own lives, too. And. And really, the only solve for how to move through that is to be grateful for what is.

0:06:22 - (Nicole Zasowski): And often what that looks like is actually in doing what you just described is looking at our lives. And maybe it hasn't felt like the majority has been positive like it has for you and me. If you're listening and thinking, well, that wasn't my story is actually pretty hard. It's still a helpful exercise to look back and to say, okay, how has God been faithful to me? See, David doing this in the Psalms a lot.

0:06:53 - (Nicole Zasowski): He talks about his present fear or his suffering in pretty dramatic language. But then he starts preaching to his own heart. And what does he usually preach? He preaches, here's how God showed up for me back then. Here's what I know to be true about the character of God. It's his faithfulness and his character that we just recall and re recount. And that's what actually gives us courage to hold joy in the present, but also to look to the future with a posture of curiosity and expectation instead of dread. Like, what Could God Do? Which obviously is where my book title, what if It's Wonderful, that was sort of my catchphrase to. To pivot my heart and my brain in that direction.

0:07:42 - (Natalie Abbott): Nicole, like, so thinking about gratitude and looking back and considering the things that God has done specifically, like, practically, are there ways where, like, oh, I wrote it in my journal, or, oh, I, you know, made it a point every day to pray this prayer or something like. Or memor a verse that, you know, spurs me on to gratitude? What were there things for you when you've gone through seasons, or have there been things for you or maybe things that you speak with, with your clients?

0:08:17 - (Natalie Abbott): Suggestions for like, practically, here are a couple things you could maybe do to establish, like an intentional pattern of gratitude.

0:08:27 - (Nicole Zasowski): Yeah, I mean, certainly I know a lot of people who keep gratitude journals and. Or a jar, you know, that they put pieces of paper in, you know, some version of that. I will say when I hear the word journal, often what people slide into is writing everything that is wrong. When I think, you know, I just want to get my thoughts out or I want to. And there might be some benefit to that, but what we're learning is if you're gonna do that, make sure that you're also writing those gratitudes, really speaking truth into the feelings that you're pouring out on the page.

0:09:17 - (Nicole Zasowski): So either keeping it strictly a gratitude journal, I will say also, we know that saying things out loud has an extra benefit to writing because it keeps our brain really focused. We can only say One thing at a time. Whereas as we're journaling, we can think about a lot of things. Like we might even think, well, yes, I'm grateful for this, but here's the nine other things that are going wrong, you know, and our brain processes things differently when it hears it audibly.

0:09:54 - (Nicole Zasowski): So it just puts it in a different part of the brain where it processes it in a different way than had we simply thought it. Which writing would be another. Yes, we're putting some action to it in writing, but it's kind of still kept as a thought. I will even say novelty, like singing or art or putting some creative experiences around truth makes it a little bit stickier in the brain.

0:10:27 - (Natalie Abbott): So.

0:10:27 - (Nicole Zasowski): So in my postpartum seasons, I have never had what I would consider a full blown postpartum depression. But we all know that hormones and feelings are all over the place. And I definitely have probably dipped into that off and on in those seasons. And the reason I bring that up as an example is you have a lot of time to sit and hold your baby, do all those things. And I have made it a practice to memorize him.

0:11:06 - (Nicole Zasowski): And the Lord has kind of brought a different one to mind with each postpartum season. But I have found singing the truth and hymns have such. They're often rooted in scripture, have such a rich truth embedded in them. And for some reason that's just helped that make that truth and that recounting God's faithfulness a little bit stickier. For me, that. And so that might be a little bit of a unique idea.

0:11:38 - (Natalie Abbott): I love that. Well, to me, yeah, I also think, like, what a precious thing for you to be like this. This is my child that I sing this to. This is my child that I. That I sing that to. Yeah, I love that. Okay, I'm super excited to tell you about this resource.

0:11:58 - (Nicole Zasowski): It's called Storing Up Treasure by Kyle Burga.

0:12:02 - (Natalie Abbott): And it's exactly what it says. It's helping your family together memorize scripture. And of course, you know, I'm going to be excited about that. And it's just simple. It's easy to use. It takes about 15 minutes a day. It has games, activities, and conversation starters to help you and your kids not just memorize scripture, but to make it a part of your lives and understand how it applies to your real life. So you can do it at the dinner table, you can do it before bed.

0:12:29 - (Natalie Abbott): It's a simple way to get God's word as a part of your family's everyday rhythms. And you can use the Code Treasure and get 30% off your copy@thegoodbook.com today.

0:12:43 - (Nicole Zasowski): Or you can follow the link in

0:12:45 - (Natalie Abbott): our show notes below, but be sure to use that code treasure to get 30% off. Okay, so to get a little bit more personal thinking about unlikely things or impossible things that God has done, can you personally say, you know, there was a thing that I was like, that's never going to happen. You know, I prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed, and I. I still thought, ugh, that's an impossible prayer. Like, have you ever seen God do something that you're like, that was just the most unlikely, bizarre, amazing thing.

0:13:17 - (Nicole Zasowski): Yes. I think, you know, as I use the postpartum example, there were moments in my fertility journey. So my husband and I, we do miraculously have four beautiful children, and we have five babies that we lost to miscarriage waiting for us in heaven. And there were parts in our fertility journey where I thought, this is not going to happen. Like, I have been to every doctor. I have tried all the things this.

0:13:59 - (Nicole Zasowski): I really had to confront the reality that my motherhood journey may not look anything like what I had dreamed my whole life. And I was one of those women who, you know, grew up as a little girl, not, you know, can't wait to be a mom. And so that in retrospect, you know, having the blessing of these four, it's. It's hard to recall those other times where, gosh, I thought, this is not gonna happen. But I did go through a long season where I really had to confront that reality.

0:14:39 - (Nicole Zasowski): What's interesting is I would say what felt impossible was my. Was my heart around it. What felt impossible was, I use that as an example not not only it felt impossible that I would get to birth a baby, but really that God would ever change my heart or change my desire around that. And it didn't change the desire to be a mom. I felt that just as strongly the entire time. But he did give me an openness to his goodness. If my story wasn't the good I would have chosen, a metaphor I often use is like, it felt like broccoli on a dinner plate. Like, I know this is good for me, but it's not something I'm excited about.

0:15:32 - (Nicole Zasowski): Yeah. And he really gave me a wonder around, what are. What are you doing with my heart? What might grow in my heart that may not have grown otherwise? And what might God do with my story that could be really beautiful, even if it's a different picture than I hoped?

0:16:01 - (Natalie Abbott): Yeah.

0:16:03 - (Nicole Zasowski): And that was probably more the miracle during that season that I couldn't anticipate it. I did get to a place before my children were born where I really wondered, okay, what are you growing in me and my character? And then what. What might you do? I believe you to be good, and I believe that you are writing a good story in my life. Help me unfurl my fingers around what that looks like. And he did do that prior to the birth of our children. And I recognize not everybody's story looks like mine, and I'm sensitive to that, but I'm really grateful in retrospect. It was so hard at the time.

0:17:03 - (Natalie Abbott): Yeah.

0:17:04 - (Nicole Zasowski): Really grateful in retrospect, that he did. I did experience that miracle of trusting in his goodness when the picture wasn't one I would have drawn for myself at all. Yeah, I.

0:17:19 - (Natalie Abbott): You know, the interesting thing, too, is, like, the verse. It's this verse itself, the miracle that Jesus is talking about is the miracle of God working in our hearts. You know, that's the impossible thing that he's talking about. He's talking about God does impossible things, even in. In us. Which, you know, one of the questions that, like this verse, and thinking about this verse has made me consider is like, what's more impossible?

0:17:46 - (Natalie Abbott): You know, it's. It's sort of like when Jesus says to the. To the man who's on the mat that his friends lower down in front of him, and he says, I forgive. I forgive you of your sins. And everybody's like, you can't do that, you know, and he's like, well, you know, to prove essentially that I'm. That I. That I can do that. Get up, take, you know, take your mat and walk.

0:18:07 - (Nicole Zasowski): And.

0:18:08 - (Natalie Abbott): And there's this question there, like, which is greater for. For me to forgive somebody's sins or for me to heal their body? And I'm like, I don't. I don't know, but I. I think it's the sins, you know, I think it's the sins that's a bigger deal. Right? Because that person can just as easily get, you know, hit by a camel or something, you know, back in those days, and. And lose the ability to walk one more time.

0:18:33 - (Natalie Abbott): But to be forgiven of your sins, to, like, experience the salvation and the life change that. That Jesus is offering is the far greater thing. And, yes, I love that you told that story, because I do think that that's the far greater thing, you know.

0:18:49 - (Nicole Zasowski): Well, and it's hard because in, you know, the Psalms, with all the poetic language and other places in the Bible too, I think there's verses that we love to pick out and claim them as a promise. You know, like, you are the God who places babies in wombs. And, you know, we want to hold that. And that's just one example. Right. There's. There's many examples with. With different topics that we still suffer with and want to claim as a content promise for ourselves today. And I think that's where I see it being applied to in a way that might not be helpful, that we have to remember that God is the God who can.

0:19:44 - (Nicole Zasowski): And that is where our hope is, that we trust in a God who is omniscient, omnipotent. Like we. We trust in a God who is. Who cannot be anything but good. And yet these are all David's examples of what God can do. And so, so often we want to claim, like, okay, that's where my hope is, but only if I get that outcome.

0:20:10 - (Natalie Abbott): Yeah, yeah.

0:20:12 - (Nicole Zasowski): And we have to remember that. No, that. That content. That example is actually pointing to a greater hope that we have in. In the person and presence of Jesus. And sometimes that's hard to reconcile as the better thing when we're just praying for one specific outcome. And I don't. I don't think we should stop doing that.

0:20:37 - (Natalie Abbott): Right.

0:20:38 - (Nicole Zasowski): But ultimately we. We don't just pray for what we receive, but. But who we receive and in the person and presence of Jesus.

0:20:47 - (Natalie Abbott): That's so true. Okay, so, Nicole, we're getting ready to wrap up here, but just one last thought. Like, somebody's out there listening to this and is in that place where they're like, this all sounds good, but it really does feel impossible to believe that. That God care like, that he loves me and wants good things for me. Like, that's a very. Like you said at the beginning, it's such a vulnerable thing to.

0:21:14 - (Natalie Abbott): To even allow yourself to believe. You know, before we go, what. What would you say to somebody who's in that space? Like, what's, you know, one. I mean, this. I think this whole conversation has been such a comfort. But maybe, like, what's one thing that maybe they could do to just take that one smallest step forward with trusting that God is in fact, good and

0:21:36 - (Nicole Zasowski): that he wants good for them? Sure. I. I think about the verse from Romans, you know, that talks about. Romans 5 that talks about, you know, suffering produces endurance, produces character, produces hope. I love that Paul starts with the reality of suffering. He doesn't say, you know, suffering is not real, or it's not important, or you just need to get to the hope part as Fast as you can. You know, like that.

0:22:07 - (Natalie Abbott): Right.

0:22:07 - (Nicole Zasowski): The starting point. And I think that's helpful that Paul names that, because we have to remember that Jesus didn't just absorb physical pain on the cross. He absorbed loneliness. He absorbed relational pain. He absorbed emotional pain, mental pain. And he sits with us in that place. And so something my mom always shares is welcome God into the feelings you. You actually have instead of trying to have the perfect feelings for God.

0:22:48 - (Nicole Zasowski): And I think we can be performative in our desire to be mature or have the right answer, but ultimately, God wants to sit with you where you are before he ever asked you to take a step forward. And so. And he will walk with you in that. But I think the very first step, when it feels impossible, is welcoming God to sit with you into that loneliness, into that sense of inadequacy, the hopelessness, whatever name you would give your wound.

0:23:27 - (Nicole Zasowski): And to know that he's been there, and that was the whole purpose of him coming the way that he did, because he could have saved us a million ways, and. And yet he took on that human experience so that we would know he's been there, too.

0:23:45 - (Natalie Abbott): That's super helpful. All right, guys, just know that Nicole is going to be with me for the next two months. And honestly, I think, like, this is a great way of just saying, next month we're going to be talking about Jesus being with us and what that means. So be sure to join us back here next month where I'm talking with Nicole about the presence of Jesus and how that is so important in our lives.

0:24:11 - (Natalie Abbott): But thank you, Nicole, and we'll be back again here next month, and I hope that you're able to join us.